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Is Monogamy Natural? July 28, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Cheating, Consultation, Dating, Love is War, Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Strategery, The Love Equation, The Proposal.
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A great article from Alternet:

Is Monogamy Natural?

By Anneli Rufus, AlterNet. Posted July 25, 2007.

A lifetime of love versus a quick roll with a stranger. It’s funny how we can have two seemingly opposite urges at the same time.

Why Do Doctors Get to Decide When a Woman Is Old Enough to Have Her ‘Tubes Tied’?
Bonnie Zylbergold

A hot naked chick hit on Joe Quirk at Burning Man. That’s what he calls her: a hot naked chick. He’s married. But his wife wasn’t there.

“I was in the middle of a desert,” he remembers. “Nobody would ever know.”

It’s funny how we can have two seemingly opposite urges at the same time. A lifetime of love. A quick roll with a total stranger.

He said no.

Because he loves his wife. Because he wouldn’t want to ruin his life by losing her. But choices such as the one he made that day on the sand aren’t totally matters of morality. They’re not about cartoon angels and devils sparring on our shoulders.

They’re science talking.

Vaunted in the mainstream media, two new reports from the Pew Research Center report and the National Survey of Families and Households indicate that couples become bored and unhappy sooner than was previously thought: more like three years into their togetherness than seven.

Well, sure, says Quirk, whose book Sperm Are From Men, Eggs Are From Women (Running Press, 2006) details what he calls “the science of relationships.” A three-year itch makes plain biological sense, he says. (keep reading)


I’m Tired of Thinking About Relationships…Let’s Get Married June 25, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating Zen Masters, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Strategery, The Proposal, Uncategorized, You Tubes of Love.

John Cussack in High Fidelity becomes the dating Zen Master and explains it all.

The Proposal March 28, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Marriage, The Proposal.
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One of the biggest decisions a person can make in their life is deciding to propose. Although times are changing, this is usually a decision that falls on the man.

During a time I was juggling with such a decision I started taking an informal poll of men I met who had proposed, and I asked them this simple question:

“What made you decide to propose?”

The answers were very disturbing.

Amazingly not one person, not a single one said something like ” I was just so in love.” The answers were something along the lines of:

“I was moving and wanted her to feel secure in the relationship”

“We had been together for five years”

“She was getting anxious”

“I was going to school and wanted her to feel secure”

“My parents kept asking about it”

“I was getting old and it was getting time to get married”

“She kept asking me why I hadn’t proposed”

“She gave me a deadline”

“Financially it made sense at the time”

“I wanted her to know that I wasn’t interested in other girls”

These rather uninspiring responses ultimately help kept me from taking the plunge… looking back now….. rightfully so.

Perhaps these answers can shed light on the somewhat amazing figure that around 50% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.

In fact, as of 2005, married households are now no longer the majority.

So, maybe people are wising up and giving up on this whole “marriage” thing.

– The Love Doctor