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Amy Winehouse Lets Boyfriend Cheat July 20, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Polyamory, Relationships, Sex, Strategery, The Case Against Abstinence.
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Interesting approach..

WINEHOUSE LETS BOYFRIEND CHEAT

British jazz beauty AMY WINEHOUSE lets her boyfriend sleep with as many women as he wants.
The 20-year-old FRANK singer insists she doesn’t mind if live-in lover TYLER JAMES enjoys steamy romps with other girls.
She says, “We let each other see other people. Tyler might stay away for a couple of days with a girl.
“We don’t just sit around and cuddle like your average couple, we give each other space.” (keep reading)

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Me & My Girlfriend July 18, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating in NYC, More Money More Problems, Relationships, Strategery, The Case Against Abstinence, You Tubes of Love.
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Better Than Sex…The Movie July 16, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Love, Love is War, Relationships, Sex, The Case Against Abstinence, The Love Equation, The One Night Stand.
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This is really one of the best dating/relationship movies I’ve ever seen. Great to watch with your significant other actually. It reminds us that there really are better things than sex… like sex + something else great at the same time.

Indeed, one of my relationships started off in many ways like the one in this movie.

Well…at least I can say it started really well…

Here’s the trailer….

Listen Sex Haters…..It’s Human Nature July 12, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating Zen Masters, Sex, The Case Against Abstinence.
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Madonna even made a video making a nuanced persuasive argument about the whole debate.

Why You Should Never Ask Them How Many People They’ve Slept With July 5, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Dating in NYC, If You Had No Interest in Sex, Sex, Strategery, The Case Against Abstinence, The Case for Abstinence.
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It’s a classic dilemma you meet somebody you want to connect with. In fact, you’ve never gotten along with somebody so well before. You tell them everything: your greatest stories, your strengths, your weaknesses, your fears, your hopes, your quirks, your best experiences, your worst experience.

Inevitably the question of the “number” comes up with.

“So…how many people have you slept with?”

This moment in time is critical. It could spell the end of your relationship, for no other reason than you didn’t read and hear this advice.

The Love Doctor’s advice is never EVER discuss your number of sexual partners.

Now, many people will disagree with me on this, or say that the discussion is inevitable… but I ask you…what good can actually come from having this discussion?

If the girl has a large number, or heaven forbid a bigger number than the guy, the guy’s oftentimes going to be freaked out. Look I’m not saying it’s fair or justified, but the reality is we live in a sexist society that emphasizes (consciously or unconsciously) female chastity. I can’t tell you how many stories there are of a guy who hears a number that’s higher than his and he can’t get all the girl’s previous partners out of his head (think for example of the 21 guy in Clerks).

If the guy has a huge number, it can spell the end of his image in the girl’s mind as a nice guy who’s not a player type. Whereas the girl was not jealous of other women before, it can get her head whizzing into now thinking about these girls: who were they, did you love them, have I met them, are they still you friends etc. etc. etc. Admittedly, women are better able to deal (and often actually expect it of guys in an undeniably sexist male-dominated society) with their guy having a large number, but it can still create unnecessary difficulties.

That’s why before you next answer, or ask this question yourself, ask yourself three questions:

1) Why do you want know?
2) What does it matter?
3) What good will come of knowing?

Of course, if you’re a virgin or not very experienced, you kind of have to bring these issues up. First of all, an experienced person will realize you’re not experienced anyways. When one person is new it’s a legitimate issue that needs to be talked about through communication. However, if it’s pretty clear both people are at least relatively experienced, there’s not much good that can really come of this conversation about “the number.”

It’s hard to do. You want to share everything. But this is just something that can’t help your relationship.

Moreover, what people often forget is if you do ask this question or answer it, how do you know they will answer honestly?

Unless you’re clairvoyant, you’ll never really know if their answer is completely true or not. Moreover, the higher the number, the less likely they are to give the absolute truth.

Given all that, the Love Doctor suggests, privacy first. Just tell them you don’t need to know.

Here, unlike in the context of our discriminatory military policy, don’t ask don’t tell makes sense!

– The Love Doctor

When You Cheat..Confession or Denial? July 2, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Cheating, Dating, Love is War, Music, Strategery, The Case Against Abstinence, The Case for Abstinence, The Love Equation, You Tubes of Love.
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Usher says confession…

Chris Rock’s Excuses Women Give Not to Have Sex With You June 30, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Dating Zen Masters, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Sex, The Case Against Abstinence, The Case for Abstinence, You Tubes of Love.
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Virginity June 21, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Sex, The Case Against Abstinence, The Case for Abstinence, Uncategorized, You Tubes of Love.
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The Case Against Abstinence April 5, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Safe Sex, Sex, The Case Against Abstinence.
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My last post “The Case for Abstinence” laid out the strong rationale for taking up an abstinence policy. Here’s the other side of the issue. I obviously don’t engage in abstinence, or I wouldn’t have that much to write about, so what’s the case against it?

1) Sex is obviously fun and feels good. Few things are more fun or feel better fun. That’s not deep, but it’s a pretty good reason. The deeper version of this point that we are all genetically structured to seek out sex to reproduce. How can we fight our own genes?

2) The risk of transmission through unprotected heterosexual intercourse is much lower than most of the public is aware. If a man has unprotected sex without a condoms with an HIV/AIDS infected woman, the risk of transmission is around five percent or less each time. Of course, with a condom the risk is infinitely lower than without, so there’s even less risk if the condom is used properly. The public relations AIDS/HIV campaign has rightfully underplayed this point to encourage responsible sex practices, but that’s the reality, and I’m blowing up their spot. Sorry. (I can’t link to anything because as I said this is not publicly emphasized, but I’ve asked various doctors this question)

3) The risk of transmission for a woman who has unprotected sex with a man with HIV/AIDS is slightly higher but much less so than most probably assumed, but is around ten percent or lower for each time. Again, this has been underplayed by public health authorities, but you have the right to now the truth, but you have a right to know the truth. (I can’t link to anything because as I said this is not publicly emphasized, but I’ve asked various doctors this question)

4) Currently, 95% of all infections occur in developing countries and continents, the major brunt of the epidemic being seen in sub-Saharan Africa and South East.

5) If you are circumcised, as I think most American men are, you’re twice as protected from contracting the disease.

So, if you swore off sex because of my previous post (which I hope you didn’t), here’s your ticket back into the sex club.