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A Woman Who Has Got it Right… July 22, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating Zen Masters, More Money More Problems, Music.
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Ms. Dynamite talking about all the things that shouldn’t matter…

Ms. Dynamite…I’m single…. please give me a call…

Me & My Girlfriend July 18, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating in NYC, More Money More Problems, Relationships, Strategery, The Case Against Abstinence, You Tubes of Love.
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Those Damn Gold Diggers…. July 14, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Cheating, Dating, Dating in NYC, Dating Zen Masters, Love, Love is War, More Money More Problems, Music, Relationships, Strategery, The Case for Abstinence, The Love Equation, The Rebound.
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I’ve written about the overemphasis on money in relationships (Mo Money Mo Problems)…

I’ve brought you TLC’s No Scrubs

I’ve brought you Amy Winehouse’s Fuck Me Pumps

Now, you get a great piece from Biker Boys Blog on golddiggers… (some great comments in the original post as well).

Along with Kanye West’s Golddiggers to boot (listen close the lyrics my friends…listen close to the lyrics…he’s a master).

Both….are so tight.

Even better in the same post…

From Biker Blog….

I ain’t sayin she a gold digga

A lot of my lady friends these days seem to be looking for more serious relationships and the number one criteria on their minds is a guy who can provide “security”. But, at what point does it stop being looking for security, and start becoming plain ol’ fashioned gold diggin’? I can fully understand a girl wanting to marry a guy with ambition or a steady job. I mean, if you’re like one of my friends and plan on having 5 kids right away, then you’re not going to marry an aspiring hand model with no health insurance and a dollar to his name… at least that’s why she told me she couldn’t marry me (but with hands this beautiful who needs her).

However, it gets tricky when money is the sole factor in deciding someone’s eligibility, not taking into account ambition. There’s this girl I used to work with. Just so I don’t bias your view of her, we’ll refer to her as Gold Diggin Diana. Diana was in a steady relationship with her boyfriend since college for more than 6 years at the time, we’ll call him Nice Guy Nelson. Nelson was a stand up guy who loved her and was a great boyfriend in my opinion. He studied film in college and wanted to eventually become a director. But, if you are familiar with the film industry, you know that you can’t just come out of school and be a director. You have to pay your dues first and work your way up there. So like any other aspiring director, he was starting out as some peon for a director of a few shows at FOX. Well Diana suddenly decided that he wouldn’t be able to give her the financial security that she needed and dumped him to go after a 5 year older banker type who was clearly well off. As fate would have it, the banker completely played her and kicked her to the curb. She went back to Nelson, who being the nice guy that he was, took her back without hesitation.

If I was Nelson, I would not have taken her back. Here I am being a supportive boyfriend for over 6 years to this girl, but when I’m struggling and need support, on the grind trying to start my career, she up and leaves me for Bobby the Banker. I mean, I ain’t saying she a gold digga’. But wait, I already did call her Gold Diggin Diana. The moral of the story is this: Ladies, if your man has ambition and a dream, support him even though things may get rough. Other guys may have the money right now, but all that glitters isn’t gold, and good people are hard to find these days. Can I get an amen? (link)

Sex for Money v. Sex for Free July 11, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating Zen Masters, More Money More Problems, Sex, Strategery, The Case for Abstinence.
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“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.” – Brendan Behan

No Scrubs July 9, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Love is War, More Money More Problems, Relationships, Strategery, The Case for Abstinence, The Love Equation, You Tubes of Love.
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I’ve written about the phenomenon of female shallowness about looking for men with money…but there’s nothing better than just watching a great video on the issue.

Then again…in fairness…..is it fair to ask women to date a true hardcore scrub?

You be the judge…

Amy Winehouse’s “Fuck Me Pumps” July 1, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Dating Zen Masters, Flirtation, Just Damn Funny, Love is War, More Money More Problems, Music, Relationships, Sex, Strategery, The Love Equation, You Tubes of Love.
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This song is an amazing piece of art by Amy Winehouse (from her first basically unknown album) that is the funniest and yet most poetic ridicule of the video hoe golddigger lifestyle.

These lyrics are at least on par with and likely better than Kanye West’s in Golddigger. Read the lyrics below, listen to the song, and for that matter, watch the (albeit low budget upcoming artist level) video for the song.

One of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard….down with golddiggers everywhere!!!

AMY WINEHOUSE
Fuck Me Pumps

When you walk in the bar,
And you dressed like a star,
Rockin’ your F me pumps.

And the men notice you,
With your Gucci bag crew,
Can’t tell who he’s lookin’ to.

Cuz you all look the same,
Everyone knows your name,
And that’s you whole claim to fame.

Never miss a night,
Cuz your dream in life,
Is to be a footballers wife.

You don’t like players,
That’s what you say-a,
But you really wouldn’t mind a millionaire.

You don’t like ballers,
They don’t do nothing for ya,
But you’d love a rich man six foot two or taller.

You’re more than a fan,
Lookin’ for a man,
But you end up with one-nights-stands.

He could be your whole life,
If you got past one night,
But that part never goes right.

In the morning you’re vexed,
He’s onto the next,
And you didn’t even get no taste.

Don’t be too upset,
If they call you a skank,
Cuz like the news everyday you get pressed.

You don’t like players,
That’s what you say-a,
But you really wouldn’t mind a millionaire.

Or them big balers,
Don’t do nothing for ya.
But you’d love a rich man six foot two or taller,

You can’t sit down right,
Cuz you jeans are too tight,
And your lucky its ladies night.

With your big empty purse,
Every week it gets worse,
At least your breasts cost more than hers.

So you did Miami,
Cuz you got there for free,
But somehow you missed the plane.

You did too much E,
Met somebody,
And spent the night getting cane.

Without girls like you,
There’d be no fun,
We’d go to the club and not see anyone.

Without girls like you,
There’s no nightlife,
All those just go home to their wives.

Don’t be mad at me,
Cuz your brushing thirty,
And your old tricks no longer work.

You should have known from the job,
That you always get dumped,
So dust off your fuck me pum

Reader Comment: Why Do Some Men Date Broke Ass Women? June 26, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, More Money More Problems, Reader Comments, Relationships, The Love Equation.
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In response to my old post Why Do Some Women Date Broke Ass Dudes?, a commenter just left this interesting reaction from a guys perspective.

Interesting points…..

Hold up what about men that hate broke women?
Let’s look at this all the way around. We men hate broke women just as much if not more than you hate broke men. Plus many women think that it’s a man’s job to “save” a woman from her financial distress when she is 99% of the time responsible for her own problems (bad credit etc.). Men, no hold up I stand corrected, “Good men” have bills on our own for example a car note for a car that you want to ride in, drive, or have the door opened up for you to sit, we have a mortgage, that’s right mortgage not rent, we have to keep ourselve’s groomed , hair cut manicures, bearded and trimmed, you don’t hear us telling our home boys “my woman got my hair cut”. See I don’t know why women want the men in their lives to do things for them that they should do for themselves. That’s right ladies, get your own weave done, get your own nails done, get your own eyebrows waxed, and get your own feet done. Is that not what you expect us to do for ourselves?

Oh another thing, just because you are minus a “magic stick” doesn’t make you handicapped and you need a man to take care of you. Get your own stuff together and put together with a man that already has his stuff together and stop looking for handouts just because you’re a woman. “Because you’re a woman and he’s your man”,That’s no excuse. Ladies need to understand one thing for sure one of the ways a woman can come in and steal your man is when she’s independant and can do for herself, that’s less work for him, that’s less noise he has to hear about his lady needing money or how broke she is. Over all ladies, if you can’t fiinacially afford a man, then don’t get one. Men want to be taken cared of too just as much as you do.

Just About the Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read June 19, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Dating Zen Masters, Just Damn Funny, More Money More Problems, Relationships, Strategery, The Love Equation.
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This amazing masterpiece is from the Best of Craigslist.

Wow…..hilarious.

NO SEX TONIGHT!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…”You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either (link)

Should I Move in With Him? April 6, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, More Money More Problems, Relationships, The Move.
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It’s one of the most difficult dating questions. You like somebody. You get along so well. You basically already spend all of your time together at one person’s house. So…why not just move in together?

This is the death trap of countless relationships for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that always being together in a living space is different than living together in a space from which you cannot make a strategic retreat for some alone time.

We all love some of our roommates, but sometimes we kind of hate them just for existing and not letting us have some time at home alone.

So it is with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Always being together is different than having to be together. Moreover, shared living also brings some rather unsexy conglomerations like shared bills, and dirty laundry and dish controversies.

When you spend all your time together when you get into a fight, you can leave for a day or even a few moments to cool down, get perspective, and deal with them again. When you live with them and you fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend and need some space, you have to leave your own home to cool down or re-orient. Ironically, some alone time at home is exactly what could have been most helpful to you, and yet that is the one thing that is not possible. Of course, maybe you’re willing to tell your partner to leave their own house because you’re angry at them. That approach is doomed to fail, since it’s rather unfair since they pay rent as well, and demanding that they leave every time you get angry could create some pretty unhealthy relationship dynamics.

However, the biggest pitfall of moving in prematurely is the new awkward financial incentive of staying together. Once you’re in a great apartment and paying a cheap rent by splitting a one bedroom, breaking up means increasing your rent by up to twice.

Breaking up is hard enough to do, but add the added negative consequence of doubled rent, or the simple inability to be able to afford the same neighborhood, it can create some unhealthy and incorrect relationships that are maintained in large part to keep the rent down.

Maybe you’re ready to move in. But it’s something that is more serious than just more “fun” time together. In fact, it could destroy your relationship quicker than you can say “why do you always leave your dirty sox on the floor?”

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Da’ Bottle April 2, 2007

Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, Love is War, More Money More Problems, Strategery.
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How can I really meet a girl in a club? I mean it’s hard enough even hearing what somebody is saying at a club, let alone convincing them that they should give you a shot. Often times you see a girl, and yet she is surrounded by a protective wall of her girlfriends ready to shoot down anybody who approaches the fortress.

How can you pierce this fortification when out on the town? Of course, there’s those perfect incidences where something funny happens, or by coincidence you end up face to face with them in a workable chance situation. But how can you avoid having to rely on chance, and have a proactive plan? Add to that crowded clubs

The answer: buying a bottle.

No club is paying me to say this, but that’s really the best way to break through a static club scene.

When you get a bottle you become a sort of mini-party, with a min-invite list.

Nobody is against free alcohol, and the bottle provides an always successful albeit unoriginal intro possibility: “hey would you like some of our bottle?”

Indeed, everybody in the club was already checking out your little mini-bottle-party, hoping for that invite. Contrast that with a guy going up against a woman or group of women and offering them just one measly dinky drink.

The bottle allows multiple drinks to be offered, often a place to sit down, and will also entice her friends, which your one drink offer could not.

At first you would say, buying a bottle is completely out of reach financially. Not really true. If you go out with a group of seven people, a bottle would often only be a little over thirty bucks a person including tip.
You’ll probably end up paying the same amount buying your dinky little drinks all night that you can’t offer to anybody and that doesn’t let you have your own mini-party.

Don’t believe me?

Next time you go out, split a bottle eight ways, and bring at least one hot girl with your group, and more often than not you’ll… meet somebody.