Why Do Some Women Date Broke Ass Dudes? March 27, 2007
Posted by The Love Doctor in Dating, More Money More Problems, Relationships.trackback
It’s really an amazing phenomenon. So many women have told me stories about how they would date men who have no money.
I don’t mean no money like not taking them to nice restaurants, I’m talking no money like can you pay for our pizzas tonight. No money like…really I don’t have any money… for anything.
Why would they do it?
It’s the power of control. If your boy is broke, he’s not going anywhere.
He may be cheating, he may be an asshole, he may be unsexy, but he’s yours, and that dude ain’t breaking up with you……….ever.
In addition, aside from ensuring that he will always be around, it obviously infiltrates the ongoing nature of the relationship.
The power dynamic in that relationship is undeniably shifted towards the woman. Decisions, interactions, and conversations all take place under the cloud of financial dependence. It’s an unspoken undertone of all that goes on.
Moreover, women who date one guy like this, often have dated many guys. Indeed, for a period of their lives they have often only dated guys with no money.
I think one possible explanation is that in a lot of cases these women have seen their mothers struggle with men for power in their lives and their daughters therefore seek to preemptively control men. Another is that some of their mothers are very bitter towards men (in many cases rightfully so) and infuse in their daughters a very un-trusting view of men that pushes them to attempt to preemptively control them.
Of course, I’m all for shifting the power dynamic towards women in society and in relationships, but I don’t think that this is the best way.
Indeed, I don’t think that many relationships like this end well…for probably obvious reasons.
what about women who date broke ass dudes because they love them!
you forgot that one compelling factor, doc> L-O-V-E
sheesh dont you know that girls life could be so much f’ing easier if she would split from the guy living in the pjs and instead date the (reasonably attractive) guy in his 30s with hella political contacts who offered her a six figure salary in Dubai!
dont you think there are pretty and appealling girls who get hit on by well off guys all the time? but the same could be said for the guy who gets hit on all the time by girls with better cooking skills or i dunno a bigger butt i dunno.
if you have any integrity you will stick by the person you love even if its not easy. even if there are things you dont always love about them.
its called loyalty, its called not being shallow, (in some case, its called hoping like hell his next film or album makes it)
thats like saying why do some dudes date broke girls or fat girls.
for emotional spiritual intellectual or the myriad other reasons that people love each other.
but its not easy to be with someone broke, he has to be perfect in almost every other way and posess a “magic stick” wink, wink
Hold up what about men that hate broke women?
Let’s look at this all the way around. We men hate broke women just as much if not more than you hate broke men. Plus many women think that it’s a man’s job to “save” a woman from her financial distress when she is 99% of the time responsible for her own problems (bad credit etc.). Men, no hold up I stand corrected, “Good men” have bills on our own for example a car note for a car that you want to ride in, drive, or have the door opened up for you to sit, we have a mortgage, that’s right mortgage not rent, we have to keep ourselve’s groomed , hair cut manicures, bearded and trimmed, you don’t hear us telling our home boys “my woman got my hair cut”. See I don’t know why women want the men in their lives to do things for them that they should do for themselves. That’s right ladies, get your own weave done, get your own nails done, get your own eyebrows waxed, and get your own feet done. Is that not what you expect us to do for ourselves? Oh another thing, just because you are minus a “magic stick” doesn’t make you handicapped and you need a man to take care of you. Get your own stuff together and put together with a man that already has his stuff together and stop looking for handouts just because you’re a woman. “Because you’re a woman and he’s your man”,That’s no excuse. Ladies need to understand one thing for sure one of the ways a woman can come in and steal your man is when she’s independant and can do for herself, that’s less work for him, that’s less noise he has to hear about his lady needing money or how broke she is. Over all ladies, if you can’t fiinacially afford a man, then don’t get one. Men want to be taken cared of too just as much as you do.
[...] The Love Equation, Reader Comments, Dating, Relationships. trackback In response to my old post Why Do Some Women Date Broke Ass Dudes?, a commenter just left this interesting reaction from a guys perspective. Interesting [...]
lol!
I remember one woman was intent on dating me. It became obvious that she was trying very hard to like me. I pointed it out, and told her I am not hurt if she does not find me attractive.
Her reply, “NO! I want to like men with money, with ambition! I am tired of dating men with no future!”
In the end — she wasn’t attracted to me. She went back to the “broke ass” boys.
I had to let a broke man go. I was falling in love with him, but I just could not envision a future in a small apartment, eating nothing but chicken wings and rice, watching televison every night, and going to the park on my honeymoon. I just lost respect for the man. We couldn’t eat out and go dancing on the same night–we always had to choose one activity. i was willing to pay my way, but just couldn’t stomach the idea of paying his way, too. It’s like bding with less than a man. i work hard, but he only worked his little 9-5. I went back to school for a master’s degree, and he was content with just two years of college and a boring job that he hates, Miserable! I wanted to love him, honest. But, you know what? People are broke for some good, sound reasons, and very few of those reasons make the broke person attractive.
I agree with Julie. In the past I dated broke guys and rich guys. And it all comes down to one thing - it is not the amount of money your man had, but his drive, ambition and abilities that count. When I married my ex we could not afford pizza. Literally. But he had a lot of drive to succeed and was willing to work his ass off! In less than 5 years we had striving business that we built together. We did part our ways eventually but not because of money.
A man who is satisfied with nothing is a man not worth being with.